Valentine Fantasy - From the Archives

I know St. Valentine's day is long gone and Easter is looming, but I was digging around in the archives and found this little short short story, essay, whatever. There was a contest at a workshop where we were asked to write about our special Valentine. For the record, I didn't win. After you read it you will know why. Keep in mind this is a total fantasy. After you read it, you will know why.

I awoke St. Valentine’s morning to the sound of soothing music and the smell of bacon. Sitting on my bedside table was a tray with fresh squeezed orange juice, bacon, toast and the morning paper opened to the comics. After breakfast in bed my darling led me to the bathroom where the shower was warmed up and waiting for me. Energizing aromatherapy candles were lit on all the ledges. The room basked in a comforting glow.

As I stepped out of the shower I was wrapped in a big fluffy warmed towel. My sweetheart massaged my scalp while he toweled my hair dry. He stood and massaged my shoulders, neck and calves as I put on my makeup and teased my hair. When I was ready to leave he handed me a hot thermos of coffee, a rose and gave me a kiss that curled my toes.

All during the day I received sweet loving email notes from him reminding me not to work late because he had a romantic evening planned. Just after lunch a bouquet of Shasta Daisies arrived with a box of chocolate turtles. Inside the candy box was a gift certificate for a day at the spa.

At the end of the day when I arrived home from work, soothing romantic music was playing. The table was set for a candlelight dinner complete with the good china and linens. There was a bouquet of long stemmed red roses sitting in the center of the table. Rose petals were scattered in a trail from the door to my seat to lead me to a romantic dinner. We dined on perfectly grilled king crab and fist sized shrimp, fresh asparagus and sumptuous home made bread. He had chosen a bottle of wine that perfectly enhanced the flavor of the seafood.

When I couldn’t eat another bite he removed all the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Then he cleaned the kitchen until it was spotless. As we were leaving the dining room hand in hand, he turned to say, ‘I love you’, but all that came out of his mouth was eeenennntt- eeenennntt- eeenennntt- eeenennntt- eeenennntt. It sounded strangely like my alarm clock……

Is this true? Are you kidding me? This all happened before I woke up.

Digging in the Archives Again

I’ve been digging around in my digital vault again. There is a lot of material that I have drummed out of my fingertips, but never had the courage to post. My Mom and a few of my friends know that I like to hear myself write. They keep encouraging me to post my blogs instead of tucking them safely away in my hard drive. But the problem with being published is that people actually read what you have written. I have big problems with letting people actually READ what I have written. And even though I sometimes feel like I am walking the plank when I post a composition, I am posting when I have something to say that might not make your eyes glaze over too badly.

So, anyway, I was digging around looking at stuff in my short lived digital journal. Now that Spring is on the horizon, it is easy to wax nostalgic about Winter. The following was written in January 2009. I hope it doesn’t put you to sleep.

Before I get started, I should probably explain the picture. That was my first car. You will read a little about it below. My friend took the picture standing on the roof of my folk's garage. That car was amphibious. I kid you not. But that is a story for another day when I’ve had a chance to make sure Mom has had enough to drink before she sees it.


They say this is the coldest winter since 1985. I remember that winter. That winter I came home from my after school job one day and nobody was home. We heated with wood. The fire was out. I burned the entire Tulsa phone book, a page at a time, trying to get a fire going. My efforts were unrewarded. My folks came home to find me in bed wearing long-johns, a robe, and down coat; under an electric blanket, with every other blanket in the house covering me. Turned out I was trying to start the fire with wet kindling.

That was the winter I had no defroster in my car because the heater core leaked. I learned the surest way to get my car fixed was to pull into the garage when my folks were gone and start dismantling. Once the pieces were scattered over both stalls, the folks had to help me fix it in order to park their cars inside. Of course that old car was uncomplicated. It could be repaired with duct tape and bailing wire.

Yes, that winter was cold. My mom bought me tires for Christmas that year. The guys at the tire shop had a tough time getting the equipment thawed enough to mount the tires. The roads were icy, but I don't remember it slowing me down one bit.

My folks had a three-wheeler. (Remember those?) I had the best old time screaming around on the snow and ice. At the end of the day my arms would be unbearably sore. But the next chance I got, I would be out there again, riding full throttle until I ran out of gas and had to push the bike home. In those days I was happiest when I had the wind in my hair. Going fast, spinning, jumping, climbing, riding, all made me feel alive.

But it was cold. We had a paradise fish and the water in his bowl froze over. It didn't bother him, he hibernated. I worked at a pet shop and somebody returned him because he was mean to the other fish in their aquarium. He couldn't be returned to the general population in the store because he would contaminate the store's tanks. They were going to flush him, so I brought him home. I came home with a fish and a jar of food. No fish bowl. I guess I thought he could live in a Mason jar. Likely, I didn't think about it at all.

He had a lot of personality for a fish. He was always jumping. I taught him to jump up and take a flake of food from my finger. But he was always jumping out of his bowl. Finally, Mom converted a unused terrarium into a fish bowl. It had a tapered neck and he couldn't jump out. Anyway, he didn't do any jumping when his bowl had a layer of ice on it.

And like all winters, that long, cold winter finally met with the inevitable Spring. So shall this one. These short dreary days will give way to tumultuous pre-Spring and finally full blown Spring with sunshine and blossoms and warmth.