Spring Fling

I just returned from Spring Fling. For those of you who don't know, I am friends with some of the sweetest, most fun, crazy ladies in the megaverse. I would rather have a root canal than miss a get together with these gals.

Spring Fling is one of several annual events where we get together with the intention of doing scrapbooking or other similar crafting. Note that I said ‘intention’. Yo Mama is a machine and she actually gets a lot accomplished. I think she completed forty or so scrapbook pages this weekend. Me, not so much, I more or less completed four pages. The artistic process is really complex for me. Besides, to me it is more about the fellowship. Plus, I don’t really plan my projects in advance. To get a lot accomplished, you have to do a lot of planning. And I don’t plan. I am impulsive. Plus, there is food and games and making the rounds to say hello to all the people I only see four or five times a year. Oh, and there is shopping. And talking. And joking.

My friends and I always have some kind of ‘you had to be there’ joke going. Usually, it is some word or phrase. This weekend it was phrases that sound dirty when taken out of context. We had a few belly laughs that left tears streaming down our faces. TSS wrote the phrases on the paper table cloth and we kept them for posterity. Sometimes by midnight we are a little punchy so things that make perfect sense in our heads sound a little raunchy to mere mortals when it comes out of our mouths. But the group generally understands. For better or worse I am listing those phrases.

Here they are in no particular order:

Are babies made with a corner rounder?

OMG it looks like a lizard.

Why don’t you talk to your little friends?

Obviously.

I hate it when he’s snoring in the middle of me.

What have you got in your mouth?

How’s it taste? It’s bitter.

She has bigger ones

They get depressed if they’re not played with.

Did you do him?

He wasn’t hanging around then.

That’d be hard.

That’s not what yo mama said.

I need to make my hole bigger.

Seemed like it was really tight.

That’s the second time I’ve ever done it.

I believe I broke it off.

I’m not comin’.

Yo mama’s not comin’.

That’s what she said.

They’ll come up.

…Humping..down..the..road…

Somebody kill the monkey.

Honey, you’re pumping my gas from now on.

Holy frick-oly.

Tomorrows another joke.

Reading through the list, they don’t seem so funny. But I know most of them nearly made us wet ourselves. Especially, ‘humping down the road’. It was Blondie referring to her son driving down the road with the music turned up loud. We are pretty sure she meant ‘thumping down the road’. But that isn’t what she said.

I didn’t get much sleep over the last three days, but I had enough laughs to get me through life until we all meet again. I love my friends.